Sunday, February 21, 2010

Why? Much more than WHY NOT?

why?  such a little word with such enormous promise.  why is the sky blue?  why is it raining as if we live in seattle?  why doesn't the hubby check the mail?  why in the world have i subjected my body to this massive surgery, scarring, and pain?  my initial thought to such a question is, "why not?"  i then realize that there are a million very reasonable answers to that question....  risk of anesthesia, risk of surgery, stress on hubby and kids, stress on sister and mother, cost, extra skin that will not go away is really not a big deal.....  so what the hell, why not?  and so i did. 

i decided to "go under the knife" for one reason - i wanted to.  i was tired of looking at the extra skin that is sagging around my hips, tummy, and thighs (not to mention the tatas or lack of!)  i did not decide to do it simply to improve the way i look in clothes or a bathing suit, i decided to do it to improve the way i look when i am standing all alone in my own bathroom looking in the mirror.  i was tired of sagging wrinkled skin staring back at me from my thighs.  i was tired of bending over to touch my toes and looking at a solid 5 inches or more of skin hanging off of my stomach.  i was tired of my belly button being so deep that a small group of refugees could make a home there.  and i was tired of my tatas hanging like pebbles in bags. (a very funny cousin in law called his wife's rocks in socks, but mine simply were too small to be rocks, so i settled on pebbles.)

and thus the decision was made.  then i began the research.  i asked friends and family.  i asked dr. m - and settled on his recommendation.  i also asked him if he thought my issues could be resolved with exercise and he quickly said no.  you can tone muscle, but you won't even be able to see it for all this excess tissue that you have.  "under the knife" was the only way.  i searched and searched for before and after photos, risks, complications, what to expect, etc. etc. etc.  i decided i needed a tummy tuck, thigh lift, and boob lift and implants to boot!

fortunately, dr. e saw it differently.  he advised that although i could get those three procedures, i would be disappointed with the results.  now, with my high expectations, i certainly was not going to cut up my body when the very surgeon who would be fixing me told me from the outset that what i wanted wasn't going to work.  he did have a solution though.....  the boob  lift and implant would be easy - just deciding on the size would be important....  but instead of a tummy tuck and thigh lift, i needed a tummy tuck and belt lipectomy or A CIRCUMFERENTIAL BODY LIFT!!!  are you kidding me?  like my funny friend said - that is like 4 c-sections all around your body.  yep - that is right.  he wanted to cut me from hip bone to hip bone, back and front, pull up and down, snip and sew.  ok - sounds like a plan.  a very very painful plan but a plan none the less.  and so it was to be - the skin would all be removed....  and some nice tatas would be installed. 

so there you have it...  why i decided to do it.  but why did i have all that extra skin?  maybe three babies in three and a half years was a contributor, but the real culprit was the former fat person from the early 90's....

bid day 1994
leanne, michelle, darby, ida
this was the highpoint of what created the SKIN that would sag....  note that gut and FUPA!
jeans were a men's size 40
weighed in at 205 pounds.

carnation ball 1993
darby and stuart
dress purchased at a pea in the pod
no not because i was preggy, but because my gut was so big!

and now its almost time for a dose of pain meds.  more to come. 

triple p

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